So many times I let other people’s success determine my own. I compared my talents or abilities to theirs. I could never do that so why even try. I let my low self esteem choose my path.
I’m in this group message called…brace yourself… “Juice Babes”. I think it should have been named “Let’s go to hell for fun”. This group is made up of friends of mine that decided it would be wonderful to do a juice cleanse. Somehow I agreed to do this and I chose the three day cleanse. It seemed simple enough. Drink healthy cold pressed juices for three days.
The first day went fairly ok. I did everything exactly the way I was told and I was feeling pretty proud of myself.
Then day two came. It started with a major headache. I drank some water and took some Advil. Then I began to drink the first juice of the day. For some reason this one didn’t go down like yesterday. It seemed to stop halfway down and I felt super full. I finally finished the bottle, when the nausea began. I slowly sipped on cold water praying it would stop. It didn’t! I had a meeting at work and I honestly have no idea what we talked about. In my head I was saying over and over please don’t throw up, please don’t throw up. It was soon time for my next juice so I choose the one with ginger in it to settle my stomach. It seemed to help for a while. I can do this, I think. A couple hours later it was time for the beet juice. I braced myself and started sipping. This beet concoction had an overwhelming smell. It was a strange mixture of smells that didn’t seem to go together and it was not pleasant. That’s when the room began to spin. The kind of spinning after you’ve had one too many glasses of wine. I was either going to pass out or throw up. Neither of which I wanted to do at work. I went home and laid down. Three hours later I woke up and I did feel better.
Meanwhile the “Juice Babes” are continuing the texts of how great they are doing. Even sharing bible verses of encouragement. I never knew sharing a bible verse could irritate me so much. I regrouped myself and tried to drink another juice. It was at this point I knew my body just wasn’t going to let me take one more drink of this disgusting stuff. How have these women convinced themselves this juice is good? If I could punch someone through the phone it would have happened. I did tell you they are my friends, right?
I threw in the towel! Yes, I quit and I didn’t care! I couldn’t take another minute of feeling so bad. I ate some pretzels and made myself a big cup of coffee. End of day two.
Day three I was not going to sabotage myself. I ate a very healthy lunch. Chicken salad with no dressing and fresh fruit. I can do my own thing. (pats self on back) Then why was I getting so upset by all the texts still coming in from the “Juice Babes”. Each sharing their plans. One was going to extend their juicing one more day. That one hurt. How they were meeting up to go for a walk. I could’t go. With each text I was feeling more and more defeated. I finally confessed to the group I quit. As expected they were very supportive, but I still felt bad about myself. Day three left me very defeated.
Day four starts off on the wrong side of the bed… I woke up to ding, ding! Here come the texts again. The “Juice Babes” were at it early today. Sharing how many pounds they lost. Really?! I wanted to pull the covers over my head and not face the day. It’s here where I started to get that knock on my heart. The one where Jesus is saying, “Hello I’m still here!” “Why are you letting Satan tell you, you are less than”?
I love when I get knocked on the head for not trusting God. Who cares that I didn’t make it as far as everyone else in the group. I did the best I could and that’s all that matters. So today I choose the path of victory! On this path I keep moving forward. On this path I keep my eyes on Jesus and push aside the pull from Satan. On this path I chose to hear the voice that builds me up. On this path I put on my shoes and head out the door!
I ran further than I have in a long time and for that I am grateful!
Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. ESV
Heavenly father, thank you for loving us! Please help those who are stuck in the lies that say they are not good enough. Help us to see the path that you have made for us. Help us to take your hand and trust each day to you. Please guide us and give us courage to do the things that seem hard. In your holy name Jesus, Amen.